Crumble Soldier

Are you tired of wearing the SAME WWII jacket that is stained in MAGGOT BLOOD?

Well, look no further than the Crumble Soldier. Now your enemies will URINATE themselves due to exposure to REAL FEAR of your DASHING but EXTREMELY DEADLY new uniform. Other Soldiers will CRY in SHAME because they didn't get the memo that something THIS AWESOME has just COME OUT. Downloading this will not only grant you IMORTALITY, but also the ability to SAVE AMERICA TWO TIMES IN ONE DAY. If that does not instantly convince you GO AWAY because you HATE AMERICA and APPLE PIE. So stop being a failure at life and BE A MAN. Not just a man, but an AMERICAN MAN who KILLS MAGGOTS while INGESTING RIBS.